Rethinkography: You’re Free to Go – So Why Are You Still Standing There?

Base Hill, Rethinking, Rethinkograpy

Look closely.

You see two striped red-and-white bollards planted in the middle of dry leaves. Behind them, a weathered brick wall. No road. No traffic. No clear barrier to overcome. Just two poles — seemingly forbidding, defiantly upright, but utterly meaningless in context.

And yet, you stop.

You don’t step over. You don’t question. You simply accept: This must mean I’m not supposed to proceed.

That’s the metaphor.

You internalize restrictions that were never designed for you. You obey symbolic limitations without ever asking why. You halt not because something is truly in your way — but because your mind decided that something might be.

The Thinking Trap: The Invisible Limitation Loop

This trap is as subtle as it is ridiculous.

You follow rules that no one actually enforces.

You stay behind boundaries that exist only in your interpretation.

You wait for permission in a world that’s already yours to navigate.

It’s the loop of:

  • Self-imposed compliance
  • Mental overadaptation
  • Obedience to symbolic authority

You’re not blocked.

You’re trained to behave as if you were.

The Everyday Consequences

In Self-Management

You decline opportunities because you “don’t have the credentials” — though no one ever asked.

You hesitate to publish your thoughts because “you’re not an expert” — though your experience is more than valid.

You wait for clarity, permission, or invitation — and while you wait, others move on.

You talk yourself out of action before reality even had a chance to speak.

Your mental bollards say:

  • “Don’t apply. You’re not qualified.”
  • “Don’t question your boss. They must know better.”
  • “Don’t change careers. That’s irresponsible.”

And you nod. And stop. And call it logic.

In Relationships

You don’t speak your needs, because you think “they should know.”

You don’t ask for emotional clarity, because “it might cause tension.”

You don’t move on, even when you’re invisible in the relationship, because “maybe it’s just a phase.”

Your bollards here?

  • “Don’t push too hard.”
  • “Don’t ask too much.”
  • “Don’t be dramatic.”

And so you live a muted version of love — not because you’re unlovable, but because you keep yourself from crossing into what you actually deserve.

The Solution: The R2A Formula

REFLECT – What are the bollards in your life?

Ask yourself:

  • Where am I assuming I’m not allowed?
  • Who told me I couldn’t — and do they even matter?
  • What ‘rules’ am I following that no one is actually enforcing?

Most of the time, you’ll find this stunning truth: no one is stopping you.

You are.

ANALYZE – What’s the logic behind your limitation?

This is the most uncomfortable part — because it exposes the absurdity of your thinking.

Some examples:

  • “I can’t speak in meetings, I’m not senior enough.”
    → But no one ever said that.
  • “I can’t express dissatisfaction — they might leave me.”
    → But you’re already emotionally abandoned.
  • “I can’t take that risk. What if I fail?”
    → And what if you rot in this box forever?

This is legacy thinking. You’ve absorbed patterns from school, parents, systems — all telling you to comply, behave, and wait.

You internalized the bollards. Now you believe they’re real.

ADVANCE – Step through the illusion

Here’s your new practice:

  1. Spot the Symbol – Notice every time a mental “bollard” appears: hesitation, doubt, imaginary no-go zone.
  2. Ask for Evidence – Who made this rule? Where’s the proof? What’s the actual consequence of ignoring it?
  3. Test Reality – Do one small thing that contradicts the imaginary limit. Speak when you usually don’t. Move when you usually freeze.

Prove to yourself: the wall is in your head. And your mind can be rewired.

Call to Action: Tear Down Your Thought Bollards

Start today. Pick one thing you’ve always wanted to do but “weren’t allowed to.”

Now ask: Who exactly forbade me?

If you can’t name a person, policy, or principle — then it’s not a rule. It’s a lie your mind recycled.

Burn that lie. Walk past the bollards. Even if your knees shake.

They can’t stop you. You’re already beyond them.

Summary: You Are Not Restricted — You Are Conditioned

This isn’t about rebellion.

It’s about reality.

You are living inside self-constructed obedience.

Your thoughts wear uniforms.

Your desires file requests for approval.

But the doors were never locked.

The wall isn’t new.

And those poles?

They’re not even connected.

Cross. Question. Act.

That’s the Rethinking way.

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