We love to talk about values.
But we hate to live them.
Values are the darling of keynote speeches and corporate mission statements. They hang on walls. They decorate websites. They show up in dating profiles and recruitment campaigns.
But here’s the truth:
Most people use values like they use gym memberships — aspirational, performative, and barely touched.
This essay is a value check — not the feel-good kind, but the kind that leaves you naked in front of your own contradictions.
You Think Values Are Warm and Fuzzy? They’re Not.
You’ve been lied to.
Values aren’t a personality quiz.
They’re not your vibe.
They’re not decorative beliefs you pin to your identity like badges.
True values cut.
They make decisions uncomfortable.
They destroy convenience.
They force trade-offs.
If your values never demand anything of you, you don’t have values.
You have slogans. And slogans don’t lead anyone forward — not even yourself.
The Real Test: Look at Your Schedule
Want to know your real values?
Don’t ask your heart. Ask your calendar.
- If you value growth but haven’t learned a new skill in 6 months, you’re lying.
- If you say family comes first but take every late meeting to please your boss, you’re lying.
- If you claim freedom is sacred but can’t say no to obligations, you’re lying.
Your life is your proof.
And if the evidence doesn’t match your claims, you’ve got a choice:
Change your actions — or drop the charade.
The Comfort Trap: When Values Become Excuses
Ironically, people often use values to avoid growth.
You say:
– “Authenticity is important to me” — and justify your refusal to adapt.
– “Loyalty matters” — and stay in toxic jobs or relationships.
– “I value stability” — and hide behind routines that kill your ambition.
This is not integrity.
It’s fear, dressed up as virtue.
You’re not grounded in values — you’re paralyzed by them.
Your Values Might Be Inherited — and Outdated
Let’s be brutally honest:
Most of your values aren’t yours.
They’re your parents’ fears.
Your culture’s expectations.
Your industry’s groupthink.
You didn’t choose them.
You absorbed them — passively, blindly, and obediently.
So when life pushes you forward, those inherited values pull you back.
And you wonder why you feel stuck.
Unmotivated. Torn.
That’s not a motivation issue.
That’s a values misfit.
A Values Audit: Three Questions to Burn Through the Fog
Let’s turn on the lights.
Here’s your 3-minute Rethinking test:
- Which values do you preach but never practice?
Be brutal. Strip the hypocrisy. - Which values are no longer yours — but still shape your decisions?
Time to return them to sender. - Which values hurt to live by — but make you proud?
That’s your real compass. Keep that.
The Cost of Clarity — And Why You Should Pay It
Living your values isn’t noble.
It’s dangerous.
It will:
- Alienate people.
- Force hard decisions.
- Break old ties.
But here’s the reward:
You’ll stop living on autopilot.
You’ll lead with alignment, not image.
You’ll act with clarity, not compliance.
You’ll move forward — not just around in circles.
And that, right there, is the leadership we need.
Final Punch: You Don’t Need More Values — You Need More Courage
This isn’t a branding exercise.
It’s a battlefield.
Because living your values means:
- Saying no when it’s inconvenient.
- Taking risks when it’s unpopular.
- Leaving behind what no longer serves your purpose.
You don’t need another list of things you admire.
You need to decide what you’re willing to sacrifice for.
Because until then, your values aren’t yours.
They’re just noise.
R2049 